What Great Teams Teach Us About Trust, Grief, and Courage | The Curiosity Shop
How the San Antonio Spurs' culture of safety, trust, and emotional honesty applies to teams, families, and workplaces.
Overview
Brené Brown and Adam Grant use the San Antonio Spurs as a springboard to explore what genuine psychological safety produces — from athletes openly grieving and celebrating to leaders who earn trust by attending funerals. The conversation moves through miscarriage, gun violence, shame-based coaching, and community loss, connecting all of it to a single argument: cultures built on discipline and kindness outperform cultures built on fear and shame, in sports and everywhere else.
Key takeaways
Telling trusted people how much you want something is an act of courage, not weakness.
Shame drives concealment — players, employees, and physicians stop asking questions and hide mistakes when shame enters the culture.
Abusive coaches leave lasting performance damage; research shows shamed athletes commit more fouls and struggle with teammates long after leaving that coach.
An angry halftime speech only lifts performance when the coach is only moderately angry and is not normally angry — the exception signals, not the rule.
Comforting inward and dumping outward in concentric circles prevents the person closest to grief from becoming a caregiver while still grieving.
Worth quoting
"It's really hard to provide a source of grounding and tethering for someone when you are completely not grounded or tethered to your own life."
"You can change a child's behavior with shame on a dime, but you are forever changing who they are."
"No, it feels safe. It feels like if I were to fall, there are people there to pick me up."
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